when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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