i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I met the friendliest cop last night
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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