Her vagina should come with caution tape.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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