Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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