so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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