Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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