Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
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His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
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He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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