I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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