She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i think i scared a bird with my dick
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize