The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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