I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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