what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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