I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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