I CAN MOONWALK!
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize