So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
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The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
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