Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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