I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize