Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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