She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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