I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
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I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
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they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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