Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I hate all girls vehemently.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize