he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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