Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
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I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
We need to get me chipped asap
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