you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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