Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
either way he was missing a nipple.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Drake has all the answers
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Randomize