finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
