some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize