Barsexuality is the new black.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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