i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize