sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize