we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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