i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
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distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
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Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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