Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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