I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize