She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
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His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
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I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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