He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize