hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
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