turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize