Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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