I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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