i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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