I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize