somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
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Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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