I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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