at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Drunk is not a location!
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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