I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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