I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize