i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
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