i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize