Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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