Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
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ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
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Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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